


A Ratty Old Coat and A Feather

by Rainbow820



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow820/pseuds/Rainbow820
Summary: Dean is a mess after the mess at the lake house, which is when he finds something and has to face some of his regrets.





	A Ratty Old Coat and A Feather

Dean couldn't feel anything, he was numb. It was bound to go away and then everything would hurt.

It had all gone to shit, Toni was dead so who knows about her son. They finally killed Ketch and he allowed himself to get too happy, too complacent.

Rowena he was surprised to find her death had actually hurt him, Crowley's too he'd miss the demon and his witch mother.

Kelly was dead and her kid was down the hall asleep. Sammy was alive but so not okay. Mom was trapped with Lucifer, she was gone so soon after they got her back.

Castiel, Cas his best friend, angel protector, badass, dorky guy in a trench coat, was gone. Sam had lost a brother and his mother. Dean's angel was gone, so all he could do is listen to the remix on repeat and drink himself to sleep while ignoring the tears.

His hands were shaking as he reaches to rewind the tape. That's when his hands snag on something, a necklace. The chain was pure angelic metal, same one used to make angel blades but it didn't have grace so it was just light, cool metal.

What was really important was the thin on the necklace. A midnight black feather which had hints of blues and greens in it when it was turned a certain way. It was softer than silk, and was always warm to the touch.

He remembers when Cas gave it to him it was the day after he given him a mixed tape.

_"Dean" Cas calls from outside the door knocking._

_"Come in buddy" Dean says turning in his chair and Cas shuffles in reaching for something in his trench coat pocket._

_"I wanted to give you a gift, I read that it's customary to exchange gifts" Cas smiles a bit and Dean smiles wider._

_"You didn't have to do that Cas it was just a tape to educate you in good music" Dean responds and notices Cas is hiding a part of it in the coat still._

_"There was no Taylor Swift on there though and I remember you telling me very clearly-" Cas begins with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes and Dean groans._

_"I was drunk and you promised never to speak of it again" Dean pouts a little._

_"Of course Dean, but in all seriousness music is apart of your soul. I don't have a soul and my grace would be very dangerous to where around your neck so I thought I'd give you something that means more to me than my grace" Cas explains handing it to Dean._

_Dean gasps feeling the metal in his hands he knew the feel, it was from and angel blade. Looking down he sees the feather. Feeling it he smiles at the feeling of something softer and smoother than silk under his fingers. He was touching a real angels feather, his best friend was an angel._

_"I know it's not very pretty, most angels blamed my wings on my fall and the ones alive before me said they predicted the black meant I was cursed" Cas starts to ramble and Dean stands up putting a hand on Cas's shoulder._

_"I've never seen any birds feathers prettier than that. I like your feather hell I fricken love it's awesome. Do you know what people would do to even meet an angel?" Dean says and Cas smiles a little._

_"I don't know but I'm sure it's not throw themselves into the pit of hell" he responds and Dean rolls his eyes._

_"Well the metal it's an angel blade metal" Dean points out._

_"With no grace in it, the angels blades every angel has are infused with angel, cherub, reaper, and Seraph grace. But no archangel which means theoretically we could make a blade to kill everything" Cas shrugs. "That is just harmless metal" he explains and Dean turns around._

_"Well put it on" Dean says and Cas moves forward gently taking it between his fingers and Dean bites his lip when his knuckles brush over the back of his neck._

_"I should go see if Sam needs any help with the research" he says lowly into Dean's ear and hesitates before he's gone._

_Dean lets out a shuddering breath he'd chickened out again with what he was going to say and now he had no courage to even follow after him._

He'd taken the necklace once Cas had gone. He didn't want Sam to see what he had on and be teased about it. But since he never knew when Cas would be back he never put it back in. Thinking back he understands why Cas thought he should give back the mixtape. He hadn't been wearing the necklace.

Now Cas was dead and there were so many things he should have said, could have said at any point. He had to have hope that Cas would come back, he always came back. They burned his body but Dean had taken the trench coat off him.

The ugly gross trench coat that he folded up like a widows flag and put on his dresser. The was wearing the necklace now. It was all he had left of his angel. His morbid drunk mind suggests he should have tried true loves kiss.

His vision was blurry now, his hands weren't still, he wasn't numb anymore. Everything ached and not from the beating Lucifer gave him. It was worse than the leviathan and the lake. He wasn't angry with Cas, not anymore this felt too final. His best friend, his angel was dead and all he has left is a ratty old coat and a feather.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This episode, made me cry more than the Vampire Diaries finally. I screamed No so loudly my family members called from the other side of the house to make sure I was okay. Okay I'm gonna shuffle through school depressed today. 
> 
> Oh one more thing, Cas died on a Thursday.


End file.
